The latest chapter in my two-and-a-half year intercultural relationship was written this past month when my girlfriend took advantage of her obon holiday to visit me in Toronto. Since I am in the midst of moving to a downtown apartment and getting ready to return to the world of academia, she unselfishly volunteered to endure the inconveniences of traveling during a peak Japanese vacation season so we could see each other after eight months apart.

One of the challenges in these types of relationships is what to do when one person decides their future lies in a different country from the one where the relationship bloomed. The easiest answer in these situations is probably to break it off. However, it's a little more complicated when both people realize they have something special and want to nurture their love. While a few lucky couples may be able to stick close together, it's not always easy to time a perfect transition in unison, which leaves the couple facing enkyori renai or long-distance love.

My girlfriend and I began that particular voyage in October of last year. And while we didn't have a date that we could conclusively point to as our permanent reunification moment, we did have a three-week Canadian Christmas that we could look forward to. Initially, this kept us highly motivated and enthusiastic about our situation.

When she came over it also added a new element to our relationship as I could share my culture, my friends and my family with her. One of the highlights of a Japanese-North American relationship is the ability to impart very unique experiences to each other. I was introduced to a quintessential Japanese experience at a beautiful Gion restaurant, while I took her wild raspberry picking in the immense forests of the Canadian Shield. She guided us to ethereal shrines at dusk, while I taught her how to skate at a festive outdoor rink. However, the single greatest moment for me came as I drove us along a minor Ontarian highway that rolled by hills and farms covered by freshly fallen snow. As we crested one particular peak and she could see a blanketed landscape that stretched out as far as the eye could see, tears of joy formed in her eyes and she lost herself in the moment. "It moved me so much," she would explain.

In-between these delightful and treasured moments can lie months of endless phone calls, instant messengers, emails and letters. While it's arguably easier today than ever before to keep in touch with a girlfriend or boyfriend overseas, the absence of a physical presence can still leave a chronic ache inside that is never truly cured until you can again share something as simple as a hug.

So what is a Japanese-Canadian couple to do once they've decided they want to stay together? Well, as the following stories illustrate, it's a mixed bag of emotions once people start moving between countries.

Jason and Chika Enouy are a late 20s Canadian-Japanese couple and Naoko Harada is a recent university graduate in Osaka who is also in a relationship with a Canadian. Both couples had the genesis of their relationship occur in Japan while the men were living there.

However, after five years of the ex-pat's life, Jason decided that his future lay with the pursuit of a law degree and this brought him back to Canada for the start of the coming academic year. This put the wheels in motion for Chika's immigration process as Jason faces dim prospects for a legal future in Japan. "Of all the firms in Tokyo, even ones started by foreigners, do you know how many foreigner partners there are? Zero," he pointed out.

In contrast, whether it's true or not, they believe that Chika's prospects are better in Canada than Jason's would be in Japan. "There are plenty of work opportunities for foreigners here, but unfortunately not so much in Japan. I was an English teacher and moved up in my company, but it wasn't my life's work," Jason said citing a factor in their decision to make Canada their home.

Naoko and her boyfriend faced an almost identical situation as Jason and Chika when her boyfriend decided to return to Canada for studying and she chose to follow him. Naoko exclaimed, "It was easy - first because I love my boyfriend and I just wanted to be with him. Also I was so excited. I can live in foreign county. How exciting is that!?"

In contrast to the Enouys optimistic outlook on Chika's job prospects, Naoko expressed some reservations. "As the time is getting nearer, I'm feeling nervous and worried if I made the right decision. I'm worried about what I can do for my job in Canada and that I will miss friends and family."

Fortunately, both couples are blessed with the love and understanding of friends and relatives, which has probably eased the convoluted immigration process that they have experienced. Jason pointed out that, "They are a pretty international family. [Chika's] father speaks Chinese and English and Chika lived overseas for about two years. From the beginning they were very open and welcoming to me." The same cannot be said for Canadian immigration authorities who have given both couples a first-hand lesson in beautiful bureaucracy.

Naoko explained her experience, "We had to prove we are a couple. My boyfriend's father and grandfather wrote a letter to the embassy for us. We also made a small notebook, which has all our pictures and a diary about all the trips we took together. It costs a lot of money too. We paid almost 200,000yen. Also, I applied almost 8 months ago, but I'm still waiting. Finally, I'm not even sure if I can get visa."

The Enouys' saga was similar, "It took us several months to get everything together for our application: fees (try getting a Canadian money order payable at a Canadian bank in Japan!!), photos proving the development of our relationship, marriage certificates, family register, police checks, personal histories, medical exams, letters, and on and on. From about April to June, so about three months gathering, then two months processing in Ottawa for the sponsor side (that's me) and off to Manila for Chika. Why Manila?? From there it's six to twelve months and we are still waiting. We are hoping things come through by January [of next year]. However, one official on the phone said, ‘We don't guarantee that spouses get residency.' Though the possibility seems low, it's a scary thought that we could be rejected."

While they're waiting for their official status to be decided, both Japanese women decided that they would take advantage of the ever-popular tourist visa and have used that to start a hopefully permanent stay in Canada. Chika consoles herself by putting her situation into perspective. "My co-worker is Japanese but grew up in the US so he has a green card. His wife, Sai-chan who is Japanese, cannot get a green card and cannot work as a full-time worker. Compared to their troubles, I feel lucky."

While that may provide a temporary respite, the last word to surviving a long-distance relationship or immigration will be left to Jason and Jon Carter who is a Canadian living in Osaka. Jason says, "Know yourself. If you are shy about communicating, then study hard to brush up your English." Jon adds, "Make sure things are defined and clearly understood by both of you. Communicate! Vague things don't last."